Tag Archives: Patches

Z Fans (You know who you are)

First the good news:

I am making significant progress on Day 46. I think that you will like what I have written.

I finally watched the latest StarTrek movie on pay per view.

I just bought and downloaded the unrated cut of World War Z from iTunes. (Now I can find out how many of my ideas they stole 🙂 )

Hillary is sleeping happily across my chest as I write this.

Now the bad news:

So … Yesterday was my friend’s 42nd birthday and I bought him dinner, then we came back and watched StarTrek (see above). Anyway … we are happily sitting on the reclining sofa watching StarTrek not six feet from the 50 something inch TV that number one son gave the Mrs several years ago.

Hillary is happily sleeping across my chest. Patches is sleeping on my right thigh.

Pickles jumps up on my lap, then jumps up on to the back of the sofa and promptly falls off over the back. This scares him and he bolts out of the TV room. This scares Hillary who bolts off of lap. This scares Patches who bolts off my thigh by way of my right arm grooving two deep bloody trenches into my forearm and in the process clears the end table to my right of all it contents.

I pause the movie and get up to see if the cats are OK. As I leave the TV room, I go to step up onto the tiled entryway and my right leg goes “zip” forward (I am wearing socks on smooth tile) as my left leg remains firmly planted. What ensues is a less than perfect high school-cheerleader style spit. At 60 years old, overweight and out of shape, my body does not bend that way. I collapse to my right side, blood dripping off of my right arm. “Ow ow ow ow ow” and proceed to laugh hysterically, even though I hurt like hell. It is times like this that I think that I must be the star of some metabeing’s slapstick situation comedy. I get a wash cloth to wash the blood off of my arm and come back to finish the movie. An hour later after the movie is finished, I can barely walk. I limp to bed and the Mrs gives me some of her muscle relaxants, pain killers, and anti-inflammatories. By morning I can kinda sorta walk but slowly and in great pain so I send an email taking day off, repeat the meds and crawl back into bed. At 8:00 PM I still hurt, but not so bad.

 

[Author’s note: To start at the beginning of Day 42 go >> HERE << ]

 

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