Category Archives: Zombies

The Nudist War 2017

Fiction, Horror, HZV, Reblog, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , ,

I started writing this four years ago when Zombie Apocalypse stories, TV shows, and movies were all the rage. The first post was in July of 2013, titled Day 42. The final post of the Day 42 series occurred in January of 2014 titled Day 53. After some consideration, I realized that Day 42 was too vague and decided to re-post as The Nudist War which was a better, more descriptive title. I reworked each of the chapters, adding additional flourishes and expanding on the plot. Individual chapters were titled TNW – Day xx. 

TNW – Day 56 was originally posted in mid-2014. For various personal reasons the story has been on hiatus since the original TNW – Day 56 was published. 

I began work on TNW – Day 57 a few days ago after re-reading the entire series. I soon realized that the content I had written had actually occurred on Day 56, so I merged the old TNW – Day 56 with the new Day 57 material. I posted the new and expanded TNW – Day 56 earlier today. It is my intention to continue adding to The Nudist War on a semi-regular basis. I have already written portions of the ending chapters. Now I need to get from here to there.

If you are new to this blog and unfamiliar with The Nudist War, you can start at the beginning by simply reading on below. If you are a long time follower you might still want to start at the beginning to refresh your memories of the story line. 

Zombie Apocalypse stories aren’t for everyone, but I think you will find that this is not your typical Zombie Apocalypse story. Give it a chance. I have also written several short stories that you can find under the Fiction tab. If you like Sci-Fi with a twist, you might enjoy these as well. 

So without further ado, I give you The Nudist War…

• • •

Originally posted January 2014 …

This is the beginning of a serialized novel. I hope you like it. Portions of The Nudist War were previously published as the Day 42 series.

Copyright © 2017 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War

Would real Zombies wear clothes? The answer could go either way. But depending on the circumstances surrounding the Zombification, the answer could very easily be no. If the Zombification occurred to a hospitalized subject after a period of illness, the subject would be wearing at most a hospital gown. Anyone who has worn a hospital gown knows how easily they fall off. If the subject turned at home, they might be wearing little or no clothing. Either way, once an item of clothing fell off … or was ripped off … it is unlikely that it would be replaced. It is even possible that a newly turned Zombie would preferentially rip it’s clothes off because they were foreign and unnatural.

The incidents below really happened. A quick internet search will readily confirm this. Might this not give us an inkling of how the Zombie Apocalypse begins?

• • •

Miami, FL May 26, 2012

A naked man was shot and killed by police after attacking a homeless man; chewing off most of his face, his nose, and one of his eyes. Dubbed the ‘Miami Zombie’ and the ‘Causeway Cannibal’ he sparked a local concern that the Zombie Apocalypse was at hand. This prompted the CDC to release a statement downplaying the reality of any Zombie Apocalypse and any connection to the ‘Miami Cannibal’.

~ CBS News Miami, 5/26/2012

• • •

Delray Beach, FL February 4, 2014

A crazed, naked man with “superhuman strength” was shot and killed by a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s sergeant after attacking several people including a retired NYPD officer, a 16-year-old female, and an 18-year-old male. The 18-year-old male, who was protecting his 16-year-old sister, suffered bite marks on his face and a lacerated ear.

~ The Palm Beach Post, 2/4/2014

• • •

>> NEXT: TNW – Day 42

TNW – Day 56

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the sixteenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2017 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 56

In the long run, we are all dead.

~ John Maynard Keynes, 1923

• • •

Sleep. Sweet delicious sleep. Warm, safe, clarity regenerating sleep. In 2013, researchers determined that sleep is critical for flushing neurotoxins and other metabolic waste from the brain and spinal column. These toxins accumulate during the day as a result of normal brain and neurological processes. If not flushed away every night they begin to poison the brain, inhibiting clear thought, reasoning, and memory. This more than anything else explains the importance and the necessity of getting a quality night’s sleep.

The new and amazing part of this was the discovery that nerves, the spinal column, and the brain shrink in size during sleep and re-expand during wakefulness. It is this expansion and contraction cycle of wake and sleep that flushes the cerebrospinal fluid through the brain and spine, carrying away toxins and metabolic waste. Anyone who has been awake over twenty-four hours doesn’t need the results of clinical studies to know that sleep is necessary for clear thinking.

Continue reading TNW – Day 56 →

The SEVENTY2

Economic Issues, Food, News, Review, Social Issues, Stuff, Technology, Video, Welcome to the Future, Zombies, ,

Just ran across this on INDIEGOGO. Looked interesting. You might agree.

95% of survival situations are resolved in 72 hours. But those first 72 hours are extremely critical. With this in mind, our kits are carefully curated to provide you everything you need, and nothing you don’t to get through those vital 3 days. We aren’t weighing you down with things you will never use, and we don’t sell you things that aren’t going to help. Just the essentials, organized so even the most inexperienced among us will have the tools and instructions to change their situation for the better. https://unchartedsupplyco.com/company/our-story


https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-seventy2-the-world-s-smartest-survival-kit-backpack#/

https://www.unchartedsupplyco.com/

That Little Red Haired Girl

Horror, Humor, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, ,

Taking the shotgun, Eddy took off across the parking lot toward the hotel. No matter how fast he tried to run, it never seemed to get any closer. Finally, finally he reached the courtyard. Eddy looked over his shoulder, the Zs were gaining on him. He turned and fired; once, twice. Click. Out of ammo. “Oh shit,” he yelled. He started running again, but another group of Zs had outflanked him. He was surrounded; the only way out was up. He jumped up as high as he could and grabbed on to the ledge of a second floor balcony. As he tried to pull himself up, the nearest Z grabbed his ankle with both its hands and sank its teeth into Eddy’s foot. Eddy kicked at it with his other foot, but lost his grip and fell in slow-motion down, down, down onto the Zs. Now they were on top of him; biting and clawing. Eddy punched and clawed and bit them back – anything to escape.

Suddenly he was alone on the ground, lying on his back. A beautiful naked woman with firm perky breasts and hard erect nipples began to climb on top of him. He stared in awe at her exotic animal beauty. Her skin was smooth and slightly freckled, bronzed with a healthy tan. She had long red hair that hung down, encircling his face. Her deep green eyes studied him intently. They were like pools in an oasis in the middle of a parched, arid desert. Eddy felt as if he could swim forever in those eyes. She ripped his shirt open, buttons scattering on the pavement, and she begin to nuzzle his chest. “So beautiful,” he thought, “so beautiful.” She moved her face directly in front of his. Her lips brushed sensuously across his. He found himself wishing she would linger there a bit longer. She moved her lips further up his face and gently kissed his nose … then bit it off. A bit of blood dripped out of her mouth as she chewed, crunching the nasal cartilage.

Eddy screamed.

• • •

Eddy sat bolt upright on his cot, trying to figure out where he was. He was drenched in sweat and shaking noticeably. “Damn! Damn these dreams!”

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

Originally published on March 16th, 2014

Cats Vs. Zombies

Cats, Horror, Humor, Reblog, Satire, Video, Zombies

Cats Zombies nuf said

Late to the Theater

Everyone can stop making zombie movies now because this one IS EVERYTHING.

You: “Hey wait, didn’t this blog sometimes post movie reviews?”

Me: “Totes! I have just been swamped with life/the universe/EVERYTHING lately and haven’t had time to watch, much less think about much! I’ll get back to the movies just in time…. for HORROR MOVIE MONTH!! WOOOO!!!!”

View original post

Little Red Haired Girl

Fiction, Horror, HZV, Reblog, The Nudist War, Zombies, ,

  

Excerpt from The Nudist War | TNW – Day 46

Eddy opened the door to the drug store and looked right and left to make sure he was alone. Satisfied, he walked slowly in, closing and locking the door behind him. He felt as if he were looking through a fog and moving through molasses. The place looked like it had been raided once or twice already. It was a shambles. “Why did I agree to go on this fool’s errand?” he swore under his breath. “I told her that all of the easy sites had already been raided.” He stopped and listened for any sign of movement. Nothing stirred. “So far, so good,” he thought.

Unzipping the large duffle-bag, he went from aisle to aisle shoving anything of value into it. Eddy stopped and listened again. Nothing. Slowly he made his way back to the pharmacy counter and assessed the situation. The security bars had been cut through with bolt cutters by a previous raiding party, so getting in would be much easier than he expected. Too easy. He jumped over the counter into the back.

Once again; stop, listen, wait. Eddy made a mental inventory of the shelves. Most of the pain killers and antibiotics had been taken. What was left were sundry salves and ointments, pseudoephedrine-containing antihistamines, birth control pills, erectile dysfunction meds, and prescription hemorrhoid treatments. “Oh great,” he swore to himself. “I’m sure that we’ll run into someone with a bad rash, who has allergies, who doesn’t want to get pregnant, or can’t get a boner, or can’t take a dump because of the pain. I’m sure we can trade this crap for something useful,” Eddy thought sarcastically as he shoveled what he could into the duffle-bag.

CRASH … Eddy froze, listening carefully. CRASH … TINKLE … TINKLE … “Uh oh,” He silently mouthed. He was not alone. Eddy looked for a back door, but there was none. The closest thing to an escape route was the drive-thru pharmacy window. He crept slowly toward it dragging the duffle-bag with him. Several Zs had come into the drugstore through the open front door. “Damn it,” Eddy searched his memory, “I’m sure I closed and locked it behind me.” The Zs were now moving his way, sniffing the air as they came. “What to do? What to do?” Eddy asked over and over in his brain. “Got to get out of here. Only one way out.” Slowly he aimed the 12 gauge at the drive-thru window and fired. BOOM. This got the Zs’ attention.

Eddy pushed the broken glass out of the way, climbed through the window and fell out onto the pavement. “Unh,” he muttered as he hit the pavement, landing harder than he had expected. The duffle-bag was nowhere to be found. “Get back to the car. Get back to the car,” was the mantra he chanted in his mind as he crept along the pavement to the edge of the wall. He looked around the corner of the drugstore wall toward his car. Half a dozen Zs were trying to get into it. They had already smashed out the driver side window and were trying to open the door. Eddy looked behind him to see the remaining Zs climbing out of the drive-thru window. “That’s not good,” he thought.

Across the parking lot was an abandoned hotel. “If I can just get to that, maybe I can wait them out,” he thought. Taking the shotgun, Eddy took off across the parking lot toward the hotel. No matter how fast he tried to run, it never seemed to get any closer. Finally, finally he reached the courtyard. Eddy looked over his shoulder, the Zs were gaining on him. He turned and fired; once, twice. Click. Out of ammo. “Oh shit,” he yelled. He started running again, but another group of Zs had outflanked him. He was surrounded; the only way out was up. He jumped up as high as he could and grabbed on to the ledge of a second floor balcony. As he tried to pull himself up, the nearest Z grabbed his ankle with both its hands and sank its teeth into Eddy’s foot. Eddy kicked at it with his other foot, but lost his grip and fell in slow-motion down, down, down onto the Zs. Now they were on top of him; biting and clawing. Eddy punched and clawed and bit them back – anything to escape.

Suddenly he was alone on the ground, lying on his back. A beautiful naked woman with firm perky breasts and hard erect nipples began to climb on top of him. He stared in awe at her exotic animal beauty. Her skin was smooth and slightly freckled, bronzed with a healthy tan. She had long red hair that hung down, encircling his face. Her deep green eyes studied him intently. They were like pools in an oasis in the middle of a parched, arid desert. Eddy felt as if he could swim forever in those eyes. She ripped his shirt open, buttons scattering on the pavement, and she begin to nuzzle his chest. “So beautiful,” he thought, “so beautiful.” She moved her face directly in front of his. Her lips brushed sensuously across his. He found himself wishing she would linger there a bit longer. She moved her lips further up his face and gently kissed his nose … then bit it off. A bit of blood dripped out of her mouth as she chewed, crunching the nasal cartilage.

Eddy screamed.

• • •

Eddy sat bolt upright on his cot, trying to figure out where he was. He was drenched in sweat and shaking noticeably. “Damn! Damn these dreams!” Eddy swore out loud as he turned to look at the time. “5:00 AM on the dot.” It took a minute or two for him to gain some semblance of composure. “Better take a shower before anyone else gets up. It’s going to be a long day.”

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

The Summer of Reblogs 🙂

20RESB Stage 2

Technology, Zombies,

Last week they poured the slab. 

This week they actually installed the generator and associated electrical connections.

Last Week

 
  

This Week

   

    
  
   
    
 
Next week the gas company will run a second natural gas line with second meter to the generator, after which the final installation, testing, and handover will be completed. Barring anything that knocks out the gas mains, I will have electric power regardless of hurricane, ice storm, grid failure, or Zombie Apocalypse.

The purchase of this standby generator is somewhere between an extravagance and necessity. It is comforting to know that I won’t loose power in all but the most extreme system failures. The Mrs has Multiple Sclerosis and no tolerance for the summer heat of South Texas. A day or two without air conditioning would precipitate a medical emergency. It is an insurance policy that I don’t mind having to use. My neighbors are already trying to figure out how to run extension cords to my house. 🙂

Happy Aniversary

About, Apple, Art, Blogging, Cats, Day 42, Economic Issues, Edits and Updates, Electric Vehicles, Essay, Extreme Humor, Fashion, Fiction, Filler, Film, Games, Grammar, Health, History, Horror, Humor, HZV, Internet, Mars, Music, News, Opinion, Photography, Poetry, Rant, Reading, Reblog, Review, Rum, Russia, Satire, Science, Science Fiction, Scotch, Social Issues, Space Travel, Technology, The Nudist War, Twitter, Video, Welcome to the Future, XKCD, Zombies,

To me …

  

EAGLE TORCH Lighter

Review, Technology, The Nudist War, Video, Zombies, ,

When I bought my gas station coffee this morning, I also made an impulse buy of the EAGLE TORCH lighter.

 

   

  
I don’t smoke, but I have always wanted one of these things … and there it was just begging to take it home with me. It was like – seven bucks. When I lived in Colorado and had a much more active outdoor life, I always carried a lighter … sometimes the ability to start a fire is the difference between life and death. This little guy looks like the perfect thing to carry in my daily bag and would be an excellent edition to a bugout bag. Review below (not mine, but to the point).

  

I may need to pick up a few more of these …

Walther Weed Whacker

HZV, Opinion, Review, Technology, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , ,

Cold, wet, rainy, miserable. It’s late fall / early winter on the Texas Gulf Coast. Temperature in the 50s for the foreseeable future. Add to this that the backyard of Cat Beard Manor has become quite junglefied. The Calla Lilies have encroached the walkway to the back door. I’m carrying in all of the groceries from our Christmas food shopping and getting tired of brushing against the cold wet leaves each time I go in and out the back door.



But wait, I have the Walther® Mach Tac 1 Machete given to me over the summer. Never had a use for it. My trailblazing days are but a distant memory.

It was like attacking warm butter with a searing-hot knife. So very satisfying. Like spindly-legged green zombies hacked off at the ankles. I’ll clear the carnage away later when it’s drier.





See also:

https://contrafactual.com/2014/06/16/tactical-machete/

SOG

History, HZV, News, Review, Technology, Video, Zombies, , , ,

SOG Specialty Knives and Tools

I am not a collector of knives and tools, per se, but I do appreciate well made technology. SOG is one of these companies … with a history. I discovered SOG while investigating various multi-tools. They have an excellent selection of very well built and functional multi-tools. (http://www.sogknives.com/tactical/multi-tools.html)

After much back and forth I finally decided to order the black Powerduo Multitool shown below.


http://www.sogknives.com/tactical/multi-tools/powerduo-black-oxide.html

Below are some fascinating videos on the history of SOG.

Take point  

Interview w/ Spencer Frazier

http://www.sogknives.com

Remember, try to restrain yourself. You probably don’t need to buy them all.

182 Days

Blogging, Cats, Reading, The Nudist War, Zombies,

3:09 AM on November 29th and I just calculated (using one of those web calculators) that it has been 182 Days since I last published anything on The Nudist War (TNW). 

What can I say? What excuse can I give? Writer’s block? Too busy at work? Too busy at home? Lack of interest?

The truth is most likely all of the above. Writing The Nudist War was an escape from reality, an escape from life. Now I am in the thick of both. Too tired or busy to write after work at night. Otherwise occupied on the weekends.

Sure I blog (or re-blog) the odd bit of news that interests me. The cats continue to be somehow more photogenic everyday. I even continue to get new followers. But I am not writing. Not writing. 

I closely follow the stock market, nursing my 401k along. Buying low, selling high, developing a sense of timing that has held true for many quarters. “Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful” ~ Warren Buffet. I raise cash at the top and buy hand over fist at the bottom. Well that’s the plan at least. Like most investors I buy too soon (running out of cash) and sell too soon (not raising as much cash as I could).

As I write this, all three cats are piled on top of me. The Pickle boy just plopped his massive frame under my chin – purring loudly. Hillary and Patches are in their usual spots.

It’s not as if I haven’t been thinking about TNW, I have, quite a bit over these past few months. I have a number of plot developments and plot twist in mind, I just haven’t been able to get off my ass and get back to writing. I am taking a few days of vacation through Critmas (Dec 2), so maybe I can finish the next chapter.

Roskilde Festival Radio Nøgenløb

Art, History, HZV, Music, News, Opinion, The Nudist War, Video, Zombies, , , , , , ,

The Roskilde Festival is the largest North European culture and music festival and has existed since 1971. They are a non-profit organisation consisting of about 50 full-time employees and thousands of volunteers. It is held in Roskilde, Denmark in late June.

http://roskilde-festival.dk/about_roskilde/

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roskilde_Festival

• • •

It is also famous for the Roskilde Festival Radio Nøgenløb (Naked Run) held on the Saturday of the Festival (this Saturday just past). The Nøgenløb is a foot race around the Festival grounds where the participants, men and women, run totally naked (shoes are allowed). It has been run every year since 1999, with a ticket to the next year’s festival awarded to the male and female winner.

The Danes obviously don’t have the phobia of public nudity common in the U. S. and some other countries.

• • •

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

~ Genesis 2:25, King James Bible

• • •

The Roskilde Festival Radio Nøgenløb serves as an example of what a pack of Zs might look like as they run naked across the countryside.*

WARNING THE IMAGE BELOW LINKS TO A VIDEO THAT SHOWS NAKED MEN AND WOMEN RUNNING IN THE NØGENLØB. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED OR ASHAMED OF THE NAKED HUMAN FORM, DO NOT CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW.

IMG_2920.PNG

 

* Except maybe for the body paint and the GoPros

A Brief History of Everything

About, Art, Blogging, Cats, Day 42, Economic Issues, Edits and Updates, Essay, Extreme Humor, Fashion, Fiction, Filler, Film, Grammar, Health, History, Horror, Humor, HZV, Internet, Mars, Music, News, Opinion, Poetry, Reading, Reblog, Russia, Satire, Science Fiction, Scotch, Social Issues, Space Travel, Technology, The Nudist War, Video, Welcome to the Future, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Continue reading A Brief History of Everything →

Tactical Machete

HZV, News, Technology, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , ,

By the same folks who brought you James Bond’s PPK …

Walther® Mach Tac 1 Machete
20140616-003458-2098580.jpg
Solves problems “chop chop”

Wicked Walther® Mach Tac 1 Machete.

Human-powered weed wacker with killer looks! Here’s a “hedge trimmer” that never runs out of gas. Take the battle to undergrowth with a vengeance. This name-brand Walther® wonder is ready.

Razor-sharp 440 stainless steel 15 3/4″l. blade
Guthook design on spine of blade
Contoured synthetic grip
Modern, hybrid blade design for effective slashing
Protective nylon sheath.
Blade is 3/16″ thick. Machete is 21 2/3″l. overall. Weighs 1 lb., 1 oz.

Available at sportsmansguide.com

TNW – Day 55

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the fifteenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 55

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

~ J. Robert Oppenheimer, quoting from the Bhagavad Gita after witnessing the first atomic bomb detonation, 1945

• • •

“Mnnn … get off me … unh … Get OFF me you bitch … unh … my thumb … my thumb … mmm … no … NO … NO”

“Wake up Erika. You’re dreaming,” Cassandra gently shook Erika. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital.”

Continue reading TNW – Day 55 →

TNW – Day 54

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the fourteenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 54


His wings are gray and trailing,
Azrael, Angel of Death.
And yet the souls that Azrael brings
Across the dark and cold,
Look up beneath those folded wings,
And find them lined with gold.

~ Robert Gilbert Welsh, Azrael, 1917

• • •

Day Two of Operation “Clean Sweep” was proceeding so far without incident. In a repeat of the previous day, the garage and surrounding streets had been swept again and the fourth building in clockwise rotation had been secured without incident. White Team had moved to the fifth building as the technicians wired the fourth building with cameras and motion sensors.

Continue reading TNW – Day 54 →

TNW – Day 53

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the thirteenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 53

The troops, with one exception, consisted of five mixed-gender squads of ten soldiers each. White Team was the exception, consisting of only six elite soldiers all of whom were women. The White Team elite were popularly known as the ‘Angels of Death’. In the war against the Zs, they had seen more combat and scored more nudist kills than the other squads combined.

• • •

MAN handed the coffee cup to the Lieutant Colonel. “So Kwan, tell me about the Angels of Death.”

Continue reading TNW – Day 53 →

TNW – Day 52

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the twelfth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 52

If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers but a helicopter can land and save your life.

~ Igor Sikorsky, 1947

• • •

The helicopters began arriving shortly before 7:00 AM. Brian buzzed to say that Shelly had just radioed him that the first chopper had departed. MAN got up, got dressed, and put on coffee. “Maggie let’s take you out before our guests arrive.” While Maggie did her business, MAN climbed up to the helipad to talk to Nora and Jan. The fall air was cold and crisp, in the mid-30s. The sky was a clear dark blue, with the wind blowing strongly from the north. A few bright stars could still be seen twinkling overhead despite the warm glow from the east. “Sun will up soon. See anything yet?” he asked.

Continue reading TNW – Day 52 →

The Nekkid War

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , ,

Back on 431 EVs – 1Place I commented that “Eddy drives a Plug-in EV in The Nudist War“.

To which Maggie (the real one, after whom Maggie in TNW was named) replied, “I hope he never runs out of charge! 😀 Those nekkids run fast…”

So … I got to thinking … Hmmm (that’s me thinking).

Should I have the Army call them Nudists or Nekkids? (or Nekkeds)

Should I rename it The Nekkid (or Nekked) War?

Hey, these are important questions.

The right answer could mean the difference between fame, fortune, and the ability to retire soon or a life of mentally stimulating, technologically challenging, yet well-paid work into my nineties and beyond.

What do you think is most like to be wildly popular?

Nekked

Nekkid

or Nudist?

TNW – Day 51

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the eleventh chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War – Day 51

Eddy was running for his life. How stupid could he be to let himself be caught with the Zs between him and his car … and without a weapon. The Surf Pack was gaining on him. They could run faster in soft beach sand than he ever could. If he could just make it to the water. Zs can’t swim.

• • •

As usual, MAN awoke to Maggie’s wet tongue slathering across his face. “Pfft, pthhtt,” MAN wiped his face and mouth off with the sheet, “Maggie, do you need to go out?”

“WOOF WOOF”

Continue reading TNW – Day 51 →

TNW – Day 50

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the tenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War – Day 50

They came from the North running over the steppe, man and woman, without clothing or even so much as footwear. So great were their number that they resembled migrating flocks of birds. Nothing stood in their path. All were consumed.

~ Chinese historian Xiao Guangxian, 1100 BC

• • •

Jess opened the stairwell door to the roof and let the dogs out. Maggie and Wolf scurried out, running and sniffing and peeing and sniffing and running and peeing and running some more. She climbed up to the helipad and walked over to one of the two spotters stationed there. “Hi, Jim how are you doing this morning?”

Continue reading TNW – Day 50 →

The Nudist? War

Essay, Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , ,

Would real Zombies wear clothes? The answer could go either way. But depending on the circumstances surrounding the ‘Zombification‘, the answer could very easily be no. If the Zombification occurred to a hospitalized subject after a period of illness, the subject would be wearing at most a hospital gown. Anyone who has worn a hospital gown knows how easily they fall off. If the subject ‘turned‘ at home, they might be wearing little or no clothing. Either way, once an item of clothing fell off … or was ripped off … it is unlikely that it would be replaced. It is even possible that a newly turned Zombie would preferentially rip it’s clothes off because they were foreign and unnatural.

Explore a new take on the Zombie Apocalypse with The Nudist War.

(https://contrafactual.com/2014/02/09/the-nudist-war/)

New chapters posted every Sunday at 2:00 AM.

TNW – Day 49

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the ninth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War – Day 49

She connected with him, wrapped the blanket around his arms, and held him tight so that he could not move as her momentum pushed them both over the railing. As they fell, she stared into his eyes and studied his face. Her lips met his.

• • •

Eddy woke up. He turned over and looked at the time. “1:30 AM. Hmm, that’s strange,”he thought. “Usually it’s closer to 5:00 AM when the dreams end.” He lay there a while, deep in thought. “Guess I should call Heinrich this morning and give him an update on the fuel situation.” He set the alarm for 5:00 AM and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Continue reading TNW – Day 49 →

TNW – Day 48

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the eighth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 48

They ran naked through the streets attacking and eating anyone or anything unfortunate enough to be caught outside. Then they began breaking down doors, climbing through windows, even climbing through the second floor windows. They ate the people where they found them, even drinking the blood so that nary a drop was spilt upon the ground.

~ La Opinion Publica, Albuquerque, New Mexico, November 2, 1892

• • •

Eddy lay in bed shivering, the events of the previous day running through his mind. He tried to imagine the horror and the fear that went through the minds of the airport patrol as they met their death at the hands and teeth of the hoard of voracious nudists. He mused on how the official term diseased had morphed into the Zs, and how MAN’s people now referred to them as nudists.

Continue reading TNW – Day 48 →

TNW – Day 47

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the seventh chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 47

‘Las Pirañas Humanos’ ran naked through the jungle, traveling in ‘schools’ where they numbered in the dozens. Male and female, they devoured everything in their path and were greatly feared by the tribes people.

~ From the report of Cristóbal de Acuña to the Royal Council of the Indies, AD 1641 concerning the stories told to him by Amazon tribesmen.

• • •

Jess awoke to the sound of someone screaming. “Not again,” she thought as she threw on a robe and ran down the hall toward Eddy’s room.

Continue reading TNW – Day 47 →

TNW – Day 46

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the sixth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 46

Her skin was smooth and slightly freckled, bronzed with a healthy tan. She had long red hair that hung down, encircling his face. Her deep green eyes studied him intently. They were like pools in an oasis in the middle of a parched, arid desert.

• • •

Jess rolled over, looked at the clock and sighed. “2:00 AM. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good. Can’t be any worse than lying here staring at the ceiling,” she mused. “Maybe a walk on the roof?” She reached over and grabbed the notebook computer on the nearby table and brought it into bed with her. Deftly she opened the lid and scanned the stairwell security cameras from the garage level up to the roof. Seeing nothing amiss, she disarmed the motion sensors between the lab and the roof so as not to wake anyone. “I doubt that they will be coming down from the roof tonight. I don’t think the Zs are capable of scaling the outside of this building,” she chuckled to herself.

Continue reading TNW – Day 46 →

Remastered …

Day 42, Edits and Updates, Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies

The Nudist War

A new take on an old favorite …
The Zombie Apocalypse
(AKA Day 42 Remastered)

~ https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/

Definition of remaster (vt)
re·mas·ter

  1. make improved master recording of something: to make a new master copy of an earlier audio recording or movie to improve its quality of reproduction
  2. new master recording: a new master copy of an earlier audio recording or a movie

While not an audio or video recording, The Nudist War qualifies as a remastering of the Day 42 series. I am going through each and every chapter, fixing typos, adding content, and clarifying passages as needed. However the plot line isn’t changing.

I hope you are enjoying it.

TNW – Day 45

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the fifth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 45

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

~ Genesis 2:25, King James Bible

• • •

Jess awoke to the sound of thunder. She opened her eyes and turned to look at the alarm clock. It’s luminous face showed 6:30 AM. She reached over to her laptop and brought up one of the outside security cameras. The video and audio indicated that it was raining heavily. “At least the weather is still normal,” she thought before turning off her alarm, rolling over, and going back to sleep.

In the next room Eddy was snoring heavily. When he got back to the lab the night before, they both agreed they desperately needed a good night’s sleep. After several medicinal scotches, they both retired for the night. The DNA sequencing could wait, besides they were making no progress anyway. A good night’s sleep was the least they were due.

Continue reading TNW – Day 45 →

TNW – Day 44

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the fourth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 44

He rounded the corner only to see Jess on the ground, covered in blood … As Eddy moved toward Jess, a crazed naked woman came running around the corner and lunged at him. Eddy didn’t wait for introductions. He unloaded two shotgun rounds into her, but she kept coming. A third shot to the face dropped her at his feet.

• • •

“Urrrrargghh glurrrppp … urrrrargghh wrrraccch.” The sound of vomiting came from the behind the restroom door.

“You okay in there?” Eddy asked. It was 4:00 AM. Dr. Edmund Hillary had been up since midnight after getting a much needed six hour nap. He had just come out of the lab to get some coffee and empty his bladder (not necessarily in that order).

“Urrrrargghh … yeah … urrrrargghh.” A few minutes later Jessica emerged wiping her face with a wet towel. “Need more Ondansetron.” she muttered and staggered over to the medicine cabinet. “May as well take more Ibuprofen while I’m here.” She opened both bottles taking a pill from each and washing them down with a swig from a freshly opened water bottle. “I’m going back to bed,” she muttered and headed back to her cot. Eddy was used to this by now. The main side effect of the Interferon was nausea and vomiting, hence the Ondansetron.

“External power is back up,” he said. … No reply … “I’ll tell her later,” he thought.

Continue reading TNW – Day 44 →

ZD-873 Zombie Defense

Reblog, Technology, Zombies, , , , , ,

Zombie Defense – 873 Bug Out Bag

You know you want it 😉

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/19c2/

Screen shots included below (click link above or any picture to go to the page)

20140228-151841.jpg

20140228-151854.jpg20140228-151909.jpg20140228-151937.jpg20140228-152009.jpg20140228-152020.jpg

Oh sure, real preppers may poo-poo this and say they can get better cheaper somewhere else. They may be right. If so please comment below. Everyone likes options. 😉

TNW – Day 43

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the third chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War – Day 43

A novel influenza virus has been discovered in several bats from Guatemala. This virus is highly divergent in sequence from other known influenza A viruses, and has thereby designated as a new influenza subtype of H17N10. Nothing is known about the capability of H17N10 to cause human infections or its putative pandemic potential.

~ Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, February 2012

• • •

The room slowly came into focus. Jessica rolled over on the cot and hit the intercom button. “How long have I been asleep?” Silence. Once again, louder and with more authority. “Yo! … Edward! … How long have I been asleep?”

“Hold your horses! I’m starting another run,” replied a voice through the speaker, “… and how many times do I have to tell you? … It’s EDMUND, not Edward!” Pause. “You’ve been asleep just over twenty-four hours.”

“Thanks, Eddy.” Jess rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She knew well and true that his name was Edmund, but she loved pushing his buttons. Calling him Edward was a sure way to do it. This had been going on ever since Edmund joined her team two months ago, not long before the first reported case of HZV. Back then she had a team of over two dozen scientists and technicians working under her. Now it was just the two of them rattling around in the empty complex.

Continue reading TNW – Day 43 →

TNW – Day 42

Fiction, Horror, HZV, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , ,

This is the second chapter.
Start at the beginning.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 42

They awoke from their slumber and they were very, very hungry.

~ St. Giorgio Romeo, Il Risveglio Morti, circa AD 978.

• • •

“They got it all wrong,” Jessica muttered to herself as she loaded the samples into the DNA sequencer. Safe within the Level 4 Biohazard lab on Galveston Island, Jessica Munroe pushed on for a third sleepless day. They got it all wrong.

• • •

The they in this case was the media, the entertainment industry, the press, anyone and everyone writing about the Zombie Apocalypse. The facts about Zombies had been pretty well established by decades of books, movies, graphic novels, and TV shows. Everyone knew them:

  • They went by many names: zombies, the undead, walkers, biters, etc.
  • They could not be killed by normal means – only a direct hit to the head would work, either severing the head entirely or at least destroying it.
  • Without the de rigueur head shot, a zombie would live forever, regardless of the amount of otherwise traumatic injury it had sustained. A zombie with half its body gone was still a threat.
  • Zombies were immune to circumstances that would kill the living, such as drowning. Zombies could wander the bottoms of lakes, rivers, and other bodies of water indefinitely, posing an ongoing threat.
  • Zombies, although chronically hungry, did not eat each other (perhaps out of professional courtesy). Only the warm fresh flesh of the living would suffice.
  • Zombies were slow and mindless. They shuffle along, stumbling after their victims.

Wrong, wrong WRONG!

Continue reading TNW – Day 42 →

The Nudist War

Fiction, History, Horror, HZV, News, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , ,

This is the beginning of a serialized novel. I hope you like it. Portions of The Nudist War were previously published as the Day 42 series.

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War

Would real Zombies wear clothes? The answer could go either way. But depending on the circumstances surrounding the Zombification, the answer could very easily be no. If the Zombification occurred to a hospitalized subject after a period of illness, the subject would be wearing at most a hospital gown. Anyone who has worn a hospital gown knows how easily they fall off. If the subject turned at home, they might be wearing little or no clothing. Either way, once an item of clothing fell off … or was ripped off … it is unlikely that it would be replaced. It is even possible that a newly turned Zombie would preferentially rip it’s clothes off because they were foreign and unnatural.

The incidents below really happened. A quick internet search will readily confirm this. Might this not give us an inkling of how the Zombie Apocalypse begins?

• • •

Miami, FL May 26, 2012

A naked man was shot and killed by police after attacking a homeless man; chewing off most of his face, his nose, and one of his eyes. Dubbed the ‘Miami Zombie’ and the ‘Causeway Cannibal’ he sparked a local concern that the Zombie Apocalypse was at hand. This prompted the CDC to release a statement downplaying the reality of any Zombie Apocalypse and any connection to the ‘Miami Cannibal’.

~ CBS News Miami, 5/26/2012

• • •

Delray Beach, FL February 4, 2014

A crazed, naked man with “superhuman strength” was shot and killed by a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s sergeant after attacking several people including a retired NYPD officer, a 16-year-old female, and an 18-year-old male. The 18-year-old male, who was protecting his 16-year-old sister, suffered bite marks on his face and a lacerated ear.

~ The Palm Beach Post, 2/4/2014

• • •

>> NEXT: TNW – Day 42

The Nudist War Begins …

Day 42, Fiction, Horror, HZV, News, The Nudist War, Zombies, , ,

DELRAY BEACH, Fla. (AP) — A 6-foot-3, 250-pound naked man died after being shot by a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s sergeant when he attacked a former New York City police officer, chased a man and his young son and bit a man on the face.

“The 18-year-old thought he was trying to eat his face off,” Bradshaw said.

“The people that he assaulted, starting with the retired NYPD guy, the people that he chased and then the 18-year-old, said this guy had like super human strength,” the sheriff said.”

The incident is reminiscent of a 2012 attack in Miami in which a naked man attacked a homeless man and chewed off much of his face. The man, Rudy Eugene, was shot and killed by a Miami police officer.

The victim in the Miami attack, Ronald Poppo, lost his left eye, his nose and most of the surrounding skin.

http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2014/02/05/police-naked-man-on-some-kind-of-narcotics-was-trying-to-eat-teens-face-off/

 

The Nudist War begins …

( Patient Zero? )

The Nudist War, iOS app 3.9.1, …

Blogging, Day 42, Edits and Updates, Fiction, Horror, HZV, News, Technology, The Nudist War, Zombies, , , ,

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
This issue has been fixed in 3.9.1

http://ios.wordpress.org/2014/02/12/wordpress-for-ios-3-9-1-released/
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

News

The WordPress iOS app 3.9.1 should fix the timestamp problem with updates, which appears to be an issue with local time vs UTC.

I won’t do any more updates to older posts until 3.9.1 comes out. Until then, if you are a new reader, you will need search on ‘Day 42’, ‘Day 43’, etc. to compensate for the broken links.

Once the 3.9.1 app release is out, I plan to repost Day 42, 43, 44 etc. with revisions starting at some current future date. I will leave the original posts in place for historical reference.

I have chosen The Nudist War as the title of the novel with Day 42 still the first chapter. I think that I will title the first post The Nudist War with subsequent posts titled TNW Day 43, TNW Day 43, TNW Day 44, etc.

I am also eagerly awaiting the March(?) release of iOS 7.1, which is anticipated to have better memory management and bug fixes for iPads and iPhone.

Other than troubleshooting the timestamp/date/URL issue on iOS app 3.9 and loosing my sanity, I have been work aggressively on TNW Day 54. As they say … the plot thickens. 🙂

cb

The Nudist War, TNW, Day42, HZV Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

Day 53

Day 42, Fiction, Horror, HZV, Zombies, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.

https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/

[Author’s note: This is the twelfth chapter. To start at the beginning go >> HERE <<

Or read the previous chapter.]

Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

 
– Day 53 –

The troops, with one exception, consisted of five mixed-gender squads of ten soldiers each. White Team was the exception, consisting of only six elite soldiers all of whom were women. The White Team elite were popularly known as the ‘Angels of Death’ in the war against the Zs. They had seen more combat and scored more nudist kills than the other squads combined.

MAN handed the coffee cup to the Lieutant Colonel. “So Kwan, tell me about the Angels of Death.”

Continue reading Day 53 →

Day 52

Day 42, Fiction, Horror, HZV, Reblog, Zombies

This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.

https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/

Working on Day 53 now. Hope to post it within a day or two.

cb

Contrafactual

This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.

https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/

[Author’s note: This is the 11th chapter. To start at the beginning go >> HERE <<]

Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
– Day 52 –

The helicopters began arriving shortly before 7:00 AM. First, Brian buzzed to say that Shelly had just radioed him that the first chopper had departed. MAN got up, got dressed, and put on coffee. “Maggie let’s take you out before our guests arrive.” While Maggie did her business, MAN climbed up to the helipad to talk to Nora and Jan. The fall air was cold and crisp, in the mid-30s. The sky was a clear dark blue, with the wind blowing strongly from the north. A few bright stars could still be…

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