Merry Zmas
From z gang of The Nudist War
Eddy
Jess
MAN
Maggie
Tom
Cindy
Maxine
Wolf
Acting Base Cmdr. Lt. Col. Kuwanyauma Smith
and of course those whacky nudists Zs
Tag Archives: Tom
TNW – Day 53
This is the thirteenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 53
The troops, with one exception, consisted of five mixed-gender squads of ten soldiers each. White Team was the exception, consisting of only six elite soldiers all of whom were women. The White Team elite were popularly known as the ‘Angels of Death’. In the war against the Zs, they had seen more combat and scored more nudist kills than the other squads combined.
• • •
MAN handed the coffee cup to the Lieutant Colonel. “So Kwan, tell me about the Angels of Death.”
TNW – Day 52
This is the twelfth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 52
If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers but a helicopter can land and save your life.
~ Igor Sikorsky, 1947
• • •
The helicopters began arriving shortly before 7:00 AM. Brian buzzed to say that Shelly had just radioed him that the first chopper had departed. MAN got up, got dressed, and put on coffee. “Maggie let’s take you out before our guests arrive.” While Maggie did her business, MAN climbed up to the helipad to talk to Nora and Jan. The fall air was cold and crisp, in the mid-30s. The sky was a clear dark blue, with the wind blowing strongly from the north. A few bright stars could still be seen twinkling overhead despite the warm glow from the east. “Sun will up soon. See anything yet?” he asked.
TNW – Day 51
This is the eleventh chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 51
Eddy was running for his life. How stupid could he be to let himself be caught with the Zs between him and his car … and without a weapon. The Surf Pack was gaining on him. They could run faster in soft beach sand than he ever could. If he could just make it to the water. Zs can’t swim.
• • •
As usual, MAN awoke to Maggie’s wet tongue slathering across his face. “Pfft, pthhtt,” MAN wiped his face and mouth off with the sheet, “Maggie, do you need to go out?”
“WOOF WOOF”
TNW – Day 50
This is the tenth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 50
They came from the North running over the steppe, man and woman, without clothing or even so much as footwear. So great were their number that they resembled migrating flocks of birds. Nothing stood in their path. All were consumed.
~ Chinese historian Xiao Guangxian, 1100 BC
• • •
Jess opened the stairwell door to the roof and let the dogs out. Maggie and Wolf scurried out, running and sniffing and peeing and sniffing and running and peeing and running some more. She climbed up to the helipad and walked over to one of the two spotters stationed there. “Hi, Jim how are you doing this morning?”
TNW – Day 49
This is the ninth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 49
She connected with him, wrapped the blanket around his arms, and held him tight so that he could not move as her momentum pushed them both over the railing. As they fell, she stared into his eyes and studied his face. Her lips met his.
• • •
Eddy woke up. He turned over and looked at the time. “1:30 AM. Hmm, that’s strange,”he thought. “Usually it’s closer to 5:00 AM when the dreams end.” He lay there a while, deep in thought. “Guess I should call Heinrich this morning and give him an update on the fuel situation.” He set the alarm for 5:00 AM and then rolled over and went back to sleep.
TNW – Day 48
This is the eighth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 48
They ran naked through the streets attacking and eating anyone or anything unfortunate enough to be caught outside. Then they began breaking down doors, climbing through windows, even climbing through the second floor windows. They ate the people where they found them, even drinking the blood so that nary a drop was spilt upon the ground.
~ La Opinion Publica, Albuquerque, New Mexico, November 2, 1892
• • •
Eddy lay in bed shivering, the events of the previous day running through his mind. He tried to imagine the horror and the fear that went through the minds of the airport patrol as they met their death at the hands and teeth of the hoard of voracious nudists. He mused on how the official term diseased had morphed into the Zs, and how MAN’s people now referred to them as nudists.
TNW – Day 47
This is the seventh chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 47
‘Las Pirañas Humanos’ ran naked through the jungle, traveling in ‘schools’ where they numbered in the dozens. Male and female, they devoured everything in their path and were greatly feared by the tribes people.
~ From the report of Cristóbal de Acuña to the Royal Council of the Indies, AD 1641 concerning the stories told to him by Amazon tribesmen.
• • •
Jess awoke to the sound of someone screaming. “Not again,” she thought as she threw on a robe and ran down the hall toward Eddy’s room.
TNW – Day 46
This is the sixth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 46
Her skin was smooth and slightly freckled, bronzed with a healthy tan. She had long red hair that hung down, encircling his face. Her deep green eyes studied him intently. They were like pools in an oasis in the middle of a parched, arid desert.
• • •
Jess rolled over, looked at the clock and sighed. “2:00 AM. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good. Can’t be any worse than lying here staring at the ceiling,” she mused. “Maybe a walk on the roof?” She reached over and grabbed the notebook computer on the nearby table and brought it into bed with her. Deftly she opened the lid and scanned the stairwell security cameras from the garage level up to the roof. Seeing nothing amiss, she disarmed the motion sensors between the lab and the roof so as not to wake anyone. “I doubt that they will be coming down from the roof tonight. I don’t think the Zs are capable of scaling the outside of this building,” she chuckled to herself.
TNW – Day 45
This is the fifth chapter.
Start at the beginning or read the previous chapter.
Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
The Nudist War – Day 45
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
~ Genesis 2:25, King James Bible
• • •
Jess awoke to the sound of thunder. She opened her eyes and turned to look at the alarm clock. It’s luminous face showed 6:30 AM. She reached over to her laptop and brought up one of the outside security cameras. The video and audio indicated that it was raining heavily. “At least the weather is still normal,” she thought before turning off her alarm, rolling over, and going back to sleep.
In the next room Eddy was snoring heavily. When he got back to the lab the night before, they both agreed they desperately needed a good night’s sleep. After several medicinal scotches, they both retired for the night. The DNA sequencing could wait, besides they were making no progress anyway. A good night’s sleep was the least they were due.
Day 53
This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.
https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/
[Author’s note: This is the twelfth chapter. To start at the beginning go >> HERE <<
Or read the previous chapter.]
Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
– Day 53 –
The troops, with one exception, consisted of five mixed-gender squads of ten soldiers each. White Team was the exception, consisting of only six elite soldiers all of whom were women. The White Team elite were popularly known as the ‘Angels of Death’ in the war against the Zs. They had seen more combat and scored more nudist kills than the other squads combined.
MAN handed the coffee cup to the Lieutant Colonel. “So Kwan, tell me about the Angels of Death.”
Merry Zmas
Merry Zmas
From z gang of Day 42
Eddy
Jess
MAN
Maggie
Tom
Cindy
Maxine
Wolf
Acting Base Cmdr. Lt. Col. Kuwanyauma Smith
and of course those whacky nudists Zs
Re: Your Brains
Jonathan Coulton is a genius. Who else could give us office politics disguised as a zombie anthem.
If you are a fan of Day 42, Ranger Martin, World War Z, Shaun of the Dead, or any of the other zombie apocalyptic classics … and you haven’t heard Re: Your Brains, then this is for you.
(just one of many YouTube videos based on the song)
[I watched this several times before it finally clicked. Can anyone tell me what city is in the backdrop of the video?]
http://www.jonathancoulton.com
https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/jonathan-coulton/id5044488
…
Be seeing you …
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/wiki/Re:_Your_Brains/Lyrics
Heya Tom, it’s Bob from the office down the hall
It’s good to see you buddy, how’ve you been?
Things have been OK for me except that I’m a zombie now
I really wish you’d let us in
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand
But here’s an FYI: you’re all gonna die screaming
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains
I don’t want to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that’s OK for now but someday you’ll be out of food and guns
And you’ll have to make the call
I’m not surprised to see you haven’t thought it through enough
You never had the head for all that bigger picture stuff
But Tom, that’s what I do, and I plan on eating you slowly
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains
I’d like to help you Tom, in any way I can
I sure appreciate the way you’re working with me
I’m not a monster Tom, well, technically I am
I guess I am
I’ve got another meeting Tom, maybe we could wrap it up
I know we’ll get to common ground somehow
Meanwhile I’ll report back to my colleagues who were chewing on the doors
I guess we’ll table this for now
I’m glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time I know we’re all busy as hell
And we’ll put this thing to bed
When I bash your head open
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains
Day 49
This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.
https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/
[Author’s note: This is the eighth chapter. To start at the beginning go >> HERE <<]
Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
– Day 49 –
… She connected with him, wrapped the blanket around his arms, and held him tight so that he could not move as her momentum pushed them both over the railing. As they fell she stared into his eyes and studied his face. Her lips met his.
Eddy woke up. He turned over and looked at the time. "1:30 AM. Hmm, that's strange," he thought. "Usually it's closer to 5:00 AM when the dreams begin." He lay there a while deep in thought. "Guess I should call Heinrich this morning and give him an update on the fuel situation." He set the alarm for 5:00 AM and then rolled over and went back to sleep.
Day 48
This is an archival version. Please visit The Nudist War for the current version.
https://contrafactual.com/the-nudist-war/
[Author’s note: This is the seventh chapter. To start at the beginning go >> HERE <<]
Copyright © 2013 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.
All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.
– Day 48 –
Eddy lay in bed shivering, the events of the previous day running through his mind. He tried to imagine the horror and the fear that went through the minds of the airport patrol as they met their death at the hands and teeth of the hoard of voracious nudists. He mused on how the official term 'diseased' had morphed into 'the Zs', and now as MAN's people referred to them, 'nudists'.
"So cold," he thought lying there in the dark. "Heater must be off. Brrr, that 'blue norther' really dropped the temperature. Things have gotten so weird in the last few days. That girl. What did Maxine call her? Medium Girl? And my grandmother's blanket … I know it was there, but then it wasn't. Am I losing my mind?" he wondered.
"Brrr," he muttered, his teeth chattering. Lying there in the dark he heard footsteps coming down the hall. Soft footsteps, perhaps Jess, or Cindy, or even Maxine. He heard his door open. Someone placed another blanket on him and softly tiptoed out of his room, quietly closing his door.
The extra blanket should have warmed him, but he only seemed to be getting colder. "Why so cold he thought?" He decided to get up and check the thermostat. Eddy reached over and turned on the light. He sat up and swung his feet around and put them on the floor. As he stood up, he looked down at the cot and at the blanket on top. It was his grandmother's blanket.
Contrafactual 