The picture says it all

Originally published on March 23rd, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t. 

The Nudist War – Day 47

‘Las Pirañas Humanos’ ran naked through the jungle, traveling in ‘schools’ where they numbered in the dozens. Male and female, they devoured everything in their path and were greatly feared by the tribes people.

~ From the report of Cristóbal de Acuña to the Royal Council of the Indies, AD 1641 concerning the stories told to him by Amazon tribesmen.

• • •

Jess awoke to the sound of someone screaming. “Not again,” she thought as she threw on a robe and ran down the hall toward Eddy’s room.

Continue reading TNW – Day 47 →

Originally published on March 16th, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t. 

The Nudist War – Day 46

Her skin was smooth and slightly freckled, bronzed with a healthy tan. She had long red hair that hung down, encircling his face. Her deep green eyes studied him intently. They were like pools in an oasis in the middle of a parched, arid desert.

• • •

Jess rolled over, looked at the clock and sighed. “2:00 AM. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good. Can’t be any worse than lying here staring at the ceiling,” she mused. “Maybe a walk on the roof?” She reached over and grabbed the notebook computer on the nearby table and brought it into bed with her. Deftly she opened the lid and scanned the stairwell security cameras from the garage level up to the roof. Seeing nothing amiss, she disarmed the motion sensors between the lab and the roof so as not to wake anyone. “I doubt that they will be coming down from the roof tonight. I don’t think the Zs are capable of scaling the outside of this building,” she chuckled to herself.

She had been cooped up in the lab far too long and desperately needed to get outside, even if it was just on the roof. She grabbed a raincoat from the closet, a pair of binoculars, and her favorite Russian made 410 semi-automatic shotgun. What it lacked in gauge, it made up for with its 15-round magazine. Eddy was asleep in the next room while Tom, Cindy, and Maxine were sleeping soundly in their makeshift accommodations in the break room. Wolf wagged his tail as Jess passed him. “Want to go for a walk?” Wolf whined and wagged his tail excitedly. “Okay, okay,” Jess answered.

She looked through the small window in the stairway door to make sure that it was safe, then quickly unlocked the door with her key. Once in the stairway she immediately relocked the door. She and Wolf quickly climbed the stairs to the roof door. She looked out the small window, but it was too dark to see anything. “We’ll fix that,” she thought and threw the switch that turned on the massive roof floodlights. It was now brighter than daylight on the roof with no shadows in which to hide. She then unlocked the door, let Wolf out, and silently stepped outside locking the door behind her … just in case.

Wolf immediately ran over to one of the floodlight supports and marked his territory. He then ran back and forth across the roof looking for just the right place to poo. With his immediate needs taken care of, he proceeded to inspect the area, stopping here and there to further add his scent. “All clear,” she noted mentally.

The door opened onto the roof next to the backup generators. At this elevation the possibility of flooding was nil and there were no known hurricane force winds that could damage them. Jess stepped out from under the helicopter landing platform and looked up to see the full moon ‘sailing’ through the low scudding clouds. Every so often a wave of light rain washed over her, pushed on by the wind. Jess did a quick inspection tour of the roof herself and then climbed the metal stairway up to the helipad above the generators. Wolf bounded up after her. There she opened the weatherized control box to shut off the flood lights and waited for her night vision to return. “Down, stay,” she commanded. Wolf lay down and proceeded to lick himself.

The wind was cold and damp blowing in from the Gulf. The salt smell of the sea was full in Jess’s nostrils, clean and fresh, unlike the filtered and re-filtered air of the lab. Jess walked over to the edge of the railing and scanned the beach with the binoculars. Nothing. She scanned the streets surrounding the lab building, following them back to the beach. Nothing. “Wonder where they are sleeping tonight?” she mused. The fact that Zs had been in the parking garage the day before was cause for concern. After several minutes, Jess heard a distant wailing cry. It sounded like it was several miles away. The shrieking grew as other voices joined in. It rose and fell in volume as it was carried along by the wind. Wolf picked up his ears and began to whine. It could have been a pack of coyotes or wolves, but these were all too obviously human voices. The chorus of voices slowly increased in number of voices and intensity. The sound sent a chill up and down Jess’s spine. It was suddenly too cold to be outside.

Jess turned, descended the steps back down to the roof, and walked briskly back to the stairwell. “Lets go Wolf. Enough fresh air for tonight,” she said as she closed and locked the door behind them and descended the stairs to the lab.

  
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Originally published on March 9th, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t. 

The Nudist War – Day 45

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

~ Genesis 2:25, King James Bible

• • •

Jess awoke to the sound of thunder. She opened her eyes and turned to look at the alarm clock. It’s luminous face showed 6:30 AM. She reached over to her laptop and brought up one of the outside security cameras. The video and audio indicated that it was raining heavily. “At least the weather is still normal,” she thought before turning off her alarm, rolling over, and going back to sleep.

In the next room Eddy was snoring heavily. When he got back to the lab the night before, they both agreed they desperately needed a good night’s sleep. After several medicinal scotches, they both retired for the night. The DNA sequencing could wait, besides they were making no progress anyway. A good night’s sleep was the least they were due.

• • •

It was close to noon when they both finally got up. Jess was the first one to arrive in the break room. She was drinking her coffee and watching a security camera feed on the wall display. Eddy staggered in. “Is it ever raining out there,” Jess commented. “Are you really sure you want to go back to MAN’s today?”

“I’m sure that I don’t want to go back to MAN’s today, but I’m not sure I have much choice.”

“Why don’t you call him?” Jess smirked.

“Very funny. Why don’t you call him?” Eddy retorted.

“Hand me the phone.” Eddy handed her the phone. She autodialed the Seaside Hotel. “Hello, this is Jessica Munroe, is MAN there? I’ll wait. … Hi MAN, it’s Jess. How are you?”

Eddy stared wide eyed and silently mouthed “What the f…?”

“Glad to hear it. We’re OK. Just hangin’ out at the lab. Ya know, savin’ the world and all. What?” She laughed. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Say, Edward and I need to come out to talk to you about something. When is a good time? Yeah, that’s what we thought too. OK, tomorrow at 10 AM it is. See you then. You too.” She hung up the phone, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“What just happened?” Eddy asked sheepishly.

“MAN said it was too dangerous to be out in the pouring rain. He said to come out tomorrow at 10 AM.”

Eddy was speechless. “I mean, how …?” Then it dawned on him, “EDWARD? You called me Edward again.”

“Go back to bed. I’ll wake you if the rain stops,” Jess offered.

  
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Originally published on March 2nd, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t. 

The Nudist War – Day 44

He rounded the corner only to see Jess on the ground, covered in blood … As Eddy moved toward Jess, a crazed naked woman came running around the corner and lunged at him. Eddy didn’t wait for introductions. He unloaded two shotgun rounds into her, but she kept coming. A third shot to the face dropped her at his feet.

• • •

“Urrrrargghh glurrrppp … urrrrargghh wrrraccch.” The sound of vomiting came from the behind the restroom door.

“You okay in there?” Eddy asked. It was 4:00 AM. Dr. Edmund Hillary had been up since midnight after getting a much needed six hour nap. He had just come out of the lab to get some coffee and empty his bladder (not necessarily in that order).

“Urrrrargghh … yeah … urrrrargghh.” A few minutes later Jessica emerged wiping her face with a wet towel. “Need more Ondansetron.” she muttered and staggered over to the medicine cabinet. “May as well take more Ibuprofen while I’m here.” She opened both bottles taking a pill from each and washing them down with a swig from a freshly opened water bottle. “I’m going back to bed,” she muttered and headed back to her cot. Eddy was used to this by now. The main side effect of the Interferon was nausea and vomiting, hence the Ondansetron.

“External power is back up,” he said. … No reply … “I’ll tell her later,” he thought.

• • •

Eddy’s relationship to Jess was like that of a kitten to it’s mommy. He was full of energy. She was mellow. He was always pouncing on her with bad puns and good natured verbal jabs. She was long suffering and tolerant. Early on they had developed a special bond. Now that it was just the two of them rattling around in the empty lab complex. He doted on her constantly.

Earlier that morning, just after 2:00 AM, the external power had come back on. The complex had been running on its standby generators for about a day and a half since they lost power. “Good to know that someone is still working at CenterPower,” Eddy thought, not sarcastically – more of a “thank God someone is still alive at CenterPower.” These days one never knew. With the power back on again, the generators shut down automatically to save fuel. Jess had been fretting about running out of fuel, so this would be very good news.

Eddy pulled up the CenterPower website on one of the laptops and discovered: one that the website was actually up, and two that their section of the power grid was back on line. “Thanks for thinking of us,” he thought. As an afterthought, he clicked over to the “Contact Us” page and sent them an email. “Thanks for getting the power back up to the CDC Special Circumstances Complex on Galveston Island. We were getting worried. How are things with you? (signed) Dr. Edmund Hillary, 555-438-9355.”

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Originally published on February 23rd, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

The Nudist War – Day 43

A novel influenza virus has been discovered in several bats from Guatemala. This virus is highly divergent in sequence from other known influenza A viruses, and has thereby designated as a new influenza subtype of H17N10. Nothing is known about the capability of H17N10 to cause human infections or its putative pandemic potential.

~ Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, February 2012

• • •

The room slowly came into focus. Jessica rolled over on the cot and hit the intercom button. “How long have I been asleep?” Silence. Once again, louder and with more authority. “Yo! … Edward! … How long have I been asleep?”

“Hold your horses! I’m starting another run,” replied a voice through the speaker, “… and how many times do I have to tell you? … It’s EDMUND, not Edward!” Pause. “You’ve been asleep just over twenty-four hours.”

“Thanks, Eddy.” Jess rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She knew well and true that his name was Edmund, but she loved pushing his buttons. Calling him Edward was a sure way to do it. This had been going on ever since Edmund joined her team two months ago, not long before the first reported case of HZV. Back then she had a team of over two dozen scientists and technicians working under her. Now it was just the two of them rattling around in the empty complex.

• • •

Dr. Edmund Hillary was not related in any way to the famous mountaineer, but this never stopped him from using this similarity as a pickup line. Most of the girls he met were too young to have ever heard of Sir Edmund Hillary, but that did not stop him from regaling them with tales of his famous “ancestor’s” historic first ascent of Mount Everest. As pickup lines go, this worked surprising well most of the time.

Eddy, as he preferred to be called, was the youngest member of Jess’s team, almost two full decades younger than Jess and most of the other team members. He had been hired directly after receiving his Doctorate from the University of Texas, where he had been researching the DNA sequence of the H17N10 bat influenza virus. At the time, Jess’s team was studying the epidemiology of bat viruses, funded by a growing concern that bats could become a vector for cross-species flu transmission. Eddy’s research on H17N10 made him a shoe-in for Jessica’s team.

• • •

Eddy had now been without sleep for over four days. The supply run took longer than he had expected. There had been … complications. Life seemed to be overly full of complications these days. He had told Jess to get some sleep while he baby-sat the lab equipment. He just hadn’t expected her to sleep for twenty-four hours. “Jesus,” he muttered. His eyes felt as if someone had been sanding them with an emery board. His mind was on autopilot. The fact that he was used to running samples day after day, night after night, the same steps over and over and over again, was the only thing that kept him going. “Day 43. Had it really been only forty-three days since this nightmare began?” he wondered.

 
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How to wrap a cat for Christmas

Originally posted on February 16th, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War – Day 42

They awoke from their slumber and they were very, very hungry.

~ St. Giorgio Romeo, Il Risveglio Morti, circa AD 978.

• • •

“They got it all wrong,” Jessica muttered to herself as she loaded the samples into the DNA sequencer. Safe within the Level 4 Biohazard lab on Galveston Island, Jessica Munroe pushed on for a third sleepless day. They got it all wrong.

• • •

The they in this case was the media, the entertainment industry, the press, anyone and everyone writing about the Zombie Apocalypse. The facts about Zombies had been pretty well established by decades of books, movies, graphic novels, and TV shows. Everyone knew them:

• They went by many names: zombies, the undead, walkers, biters, etc.
• They could not be killed by normal means – only a direct hit to the head would work, either severing the head entirely or at least destroying it.
• Without the de rigueur head shot, a zombie would live forever, regardless of the amount of otherwise traumatic injury it had sustained. A zombie with half its body gone was still a threat.
• Zombies were immune to circumstances that would kill the living, such as drowning. Zombies could wander the bottoms of lakes, rivers, and other bodies of water indefinitely, posing an ongoing threat.
• Zombies, although chronically hungry, did not eat each other (perhaps out of professional courtesy). Only the warm fresh flesh of the living would suffice.
• Zombies were slow and mindless. They shuffle along, stumbling after their victims.

Wrong, wrong WRONG!

 
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Originally posted on February 9th, 2014

Copyright © 2014 by Christian Bergman, All rights reserved.

All people, places, and events are fictional … except when they aren’t.

 
The Nudist War

Would real Zombies wear clothes? The answer could go either way. But depending on the circumstances surrounding the Zombification, the answer could very easily be no. If the Zombification occurred to a hospitalized subject after a period of illness, the subject would be wearing at most a hospital gown. Anyone who has worn a hospital gown knows how easily they fall off. If the subject turned at home, they might be wearing little or no clothing. Either way, once an item of clothing fell off … or was ripped off … it is unlikely that it would be replaced. It is even possible that a newly turned Zombie would preferentially rip it’s clothes off because they were foreign and unnatural.

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